How to spend money you get from the Government

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This
is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A
format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China .
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India .
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras,
and Guatemala.
If you buy a car it will go to Japan .
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan .

You can keep the money in America by spending it on yard sales, beer,
or tattoos, since those are the only thriving businesses still in the
US.

Haha! I got this as an email and thought it was really funny. And sad. What is not so funny is this; in California they aren't even sending us state tax refund money. They are sending IOU's. Seriously. I'm not kidding. Really.
Instead of paying my taxes this year, I think I'm going to send California an IOU.
They started it.
~Jenny